Loyalty
After recently watching “How to loose a guy in ten days” the following phrases made me think:

Guy, “You’ve just lost the guy”
Annie, “You can’t loose what you never had.”

This is where loyalty plays a huge part in relationships. The saying goes “It takes two to tango” Well true. Both parties have to be actively involved in the relationship to make it work. I’ve been in a relationship where the other party wasn’t loyal. My ex lover, as previously said, went to clubs without me and then cheated on me with other guys. Is that loyal? No!

After giving this a lot of thought and knowing that I’ve been loyal in all my past relationships, I still do not know how to figure if my lover will be loyal to me. Take your lovers word for it? Well I did trust my ex, still the ex wasn’t loyal.

I made a vow. I’ll never forgive someone again after cheating. I will never trust someone again after cheating. I will never take someone back after cheating.

Being gay in today’s society

The first question I asked myself, (I am Christian) is it against the will of God being homosexual? And after 2years of searching for answers I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

A lot of people say it is wrong. And then they aren’t even Christians. And a lot of Christians says its fine being gay ASLONG as you life inside the boundaries set in the Bible (i.e. sex). One question I ask myself, “Will God let me fall in love with a guy when being gay is against his will?” Then one guy said, “Satan is a carbon copy of God. He has the power to pervert. If he can change your course by only 3°, he is happy.”

After two years, this is still haunting me. As my favorite artist, Evanescence sing in Tourniquet, “Will I be denied? Christ, Tourniquet?”

After being single for three months now, my ex stepped back into my life. Well, not the cheating one. The one I really love and really feel for. We were together for eleven days about 11months ago. We split because he wasn’t over his ex boyfriend, so I gave him the opportunity to go back to him and try and solve what went wrong. Unfortunately, they didn’t work and I was with a new lover, Emil. Fred was furious. And I broke every single form of communication we had. After I left Emil I contact Fred again and told him that I’m sorry. I was wrong and I should not have given up that easily.

Now a year after our breakup we still love each other and we still want to try and make the relationship work. I am willing to try, but I am so scared of being hurt again.
… to be continued

Once again, tnx for reading!


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